I think locks are the saddest inventions in human history.


Love,

Mama has no mean bone on her body... just a couple hundred "don't-do-this-and-that" ones.


Love,

Stay in school, son. Even Steven Spielberg went back to finish college.


Love,

He's not the kind of guy I read from out of the pages of a romance novel.

... but sometimes he is.


Love,

You will always be much stronger than you think.


Love,

She's one of those people who can make my life easier by jumping off a bridge.


Love,

"Educated" and "Easy to boss around" cannot live in the same body.


Love,

Dishonesty is the root of all heartaches.


Love,

Never apologize for doing what you're good at.


Love,

You really can't hate numbers if you love money.


Love,

Lower your expectations but never your standards.


Love,

To the man (or woman) who invented the stapler, you rock!


Love,

First loves are like pimples. You have to wait 'til you're twenty-five to get over them.


Love,

You keep calling me "Mommy Ironman". Gosh, I really wish I was.


Love,

Never apologize for being sad or happy. It's not even your fault most of the time.


Love,

I'm sorry for bearing you into a world with a global warming package.


Love,

You cannot deduct all the bad things you did from all the good things you did. It doesn’t work like that.


Love,

It's nice to go home to someone who can make you happy, nervous, angry, strong and weak all at the same time.


Love,

Come to think of it, merely breathing is a wonderful thing.


Love,

He claimed that he can live happily without love. Can anyone really?


Love,

In one of those dusty Tuesday afternoons, your daddy thanked "whoever invented nose hairs". LOLz.


Love,

She has a secret. A nauseating and unforgivable secret.


Love,

My life ceased to be pointless the moment I had you.


Love,

The opposite of love is not hate but the desperate attempt to forget someone.


Love,

If I had a super power I want it to be the ability to write a sentence in one word, a paragraph in one sentence, and so on.


Love,